These workshops are designed for couples who are in an intimate, committed partnership. Marriage is not a pre-requisite. However, if you wish to attend and you are single, you will need to attend with a friend, colleague, or family member with whom you feel comfortable with. We would prefer that this person not be in a long-term relationship themselves, as we would like couples to experience this together.
If you are presently separated but wishing to explore the possibility of either reconciliation or communicating better as you move on with your lives, then the workshop would certainly be of assistance.
Many participants have later told us of the benefits experienced when applying dialogical skills in friendship, business, with wider family groups and particularly with parenting. We ourselves have found that these processes are part of our everyday relating in all aspects of our lives, and it has been hugely beneficial in relating with our children.
We see that the Workshop plus counselling is a particularly helpful combination. However, for some couples the workshop in itself gives them what they are looking for. For others, particularly for those who are in serious difficulty or contemplating separation, follow-up sessions are definitely recommended. If this is the case, the workshop gives a wonderful jumpstart, but will probably not be in itself enough over the long term. Many couples who attend the workshop pursue couple’s sessions. The workshop provides deep exposure to the theory, philosophy, and practice of Imago Therapy. Integrating the process taught often requires further coaching and support.
Imago therapy applies to all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, ethnic or racial background, religion, personal history, or level of education. Our experience is that all couples face similar issues, though those within the LGBTQIA communities often have extra issues due to social and cultural factors. When LGBTQIA couples have attended our workshops, they say that it is a good experience for them and we certainly welcome you.
We can’t say that the workshop will save your relationship. However, many if not most couples do experience significant changes which result in better communication and a more fulfilling relationship. When conflict is long standing couples frequently need to have follow-on counselling in order to integrate the work from the workshop, and to receive further direction and guidance to stay in the process. However, the workshop provides an important and often essential foundation on which to build the platform for counselling, and for your future relationship. In those circumstances where couples do decide to separate following the workshop, they report increased understanding, a more amicable separation, and the ability to work well together in their co-parenting relationship.
Absolutely. It is common for one partner to be more reluctant than the other. We are often amazed at how enthusiastic both partners are at the end of a workshop. Attitudes can and do change over the weekend, and our reviews on completion of the workshop tend to be excellent, even from those who were reluctant and/or cynical at the beginning.
The workshop is set up so that you do not have to talk publicly at any time, either in small groups or in the large group. We do ask for couples to assist us in demonstrating the processes we are teaching, and couples who feel comfortable with this elect to do so. No pressure is placed on anyone to share or reveal personal concerns or issues. The workshop is mostly an educational experience. You practice new skills alone with your partner and your issues are completely private.
Yes, you can still benefit. The connections between our current frustrations and conflict, and our childhood experience, is not clear to many people. Imago theory does suggest that we unconsciously connect the two. However, this is simply a theory or idea which assists in making sense of the current situation, and Imago processes will work when used consistently, with or without a belief in the link between adult relationship issues and childhood.
We don’t think it’s ever too late to learn the real cause of your problems. You will learn key concepts that replace the pain of a difficult relationship with knowledge, skill and hope. Whether you ultimately decide to stay together to use your new tools to heal and grow or go your separate ways, what you learn in the weekend will alter the way you view your relationships. And if you are parents, we believe the skills you learn in the workshop will be of a great benefit to your relating with your children.
Isn’t it only for couples who want to improve their relationship? The workshop has a good track record of helping couples experience their partners and their relationships more positively. Many couples find hope for the future because they have experienced relating in a new, safer way during the weekend. If you are currently in a committed relationship, even if it is very shaky, we do recommend that you come to the workshop. The least that you can expect as a result of the workshop is clarity about what you and your partner should do. Many couples find new hope and optimism as a result of what they learn at the workshop. Occasionally they discover that there has been too much pain and they decide to end the relationship. Even if that is your decision, Imago therapy provides a framework in which you can respectfully say good-bye. This is especially important if you have children that you will be co-parenting.
It will also give you essential information about yourself to take into your next relationship, enabling understanding of how you co-created the current relationship, so that you can take that understanding with you rather than continue to create similarly painful experiences. But for the most part, the majority of couples leave the workshop with new energy, tools and hope for the future. Many couples who have been separated attend the workshop and find their way back into relationship.
Yes, we find that the workshop is useful for those who are working with therapists using different modalities. If you are currently in a coaching or therapeutic relationship, it would be wise to discuss your attendance with your practitioner. They will be in the best place to assist you after the workshop for any follow-up. We would also be available to consult with your therapist about the processes taught at the workshop if you and they would like that.
There are no prerequisites for attending the workshop. Some attendees have done a lot of reading, personal work, and personal growth; others very little. If you have time, we do recommend you read “Getting the Love You Want” either before the workshop, or afterwards.
We invest in our cars to ensure that they keep working; but somehow believe that investing financially in our relationship is unnecessary. Relationship breakdown has huge financial cost, and healthy relationships require time, energy, and an understanding of relationship dynamics, along with the skills to relate well with one another. Yet we are not taught how to resolve relationship issues and often believe we should be able to work through these issues ourselves.
Though each provides a different experience, we generally recommend attending a workshop as soon as possible because it provides an overview and some practice of all the Imago ideas and skills. It is our experience that the workshop can save you time and money and give you a solid foundation. The workshop experience has been demonstrated to achieve results comparable to 3-6months of weekly therapy. As such, it is extremely cost efficient. It provides a solid psycho-educational foundation to the personalised work that you and your partner then have an opportunity to integrate within relationship therapy. We also find that a shift can occur within the framework of the workshop that is very difficult to achieve in individual couple’s sessions, which can enhance the relationship therapy you may be already attending or starting.
However, we also recommend that if a workshop is not scheduled soon or you are unable to make the next time, you begin ongoing sessions, please see our directory for Imago therapists that are in your area. Also, some couples want to try out a few sessions before committing to the workshop, and that’s fine. We would be happy to discuss your particular situation with you individually to ensure optimum use of your time and resources.
Of course. Feel free to call or email any other questions that you might have.
