Improving relationships is a passion project for me and (to be honest) stems from the challenges I’ve experienced in many of my own relationships. Most of us (sadly not all) come into the world full of promise and sunshine. We are born in a complex world that we have evolved to adapt to, in the service of our survival. Since you’re reading this, you can give yourself a cheer for surviving.
That is not enough to make life worth living. We are necessarily social beings, and we want to be happy. We are wired to connect, so we find ourselves seeking others, to enhance our sense of belonging and to add pleasure and enjoyment to life. Yet the skills we have learned from the environments we have grown up (mostly from parents/primary caretakers), are inadequate for the tasks we face. We haven’t yet developed the needed means to successfully navigate the wild seas that make up the interpersonal world. To mix my metaphors – it’s a jungle out there.
Yet just as we have learned to survive, we can learn the skills to successfully and satisfyingly bond with others, and be good models for our kids and their generation. This is where I see therapy as extremely valuable. Esther Perel once said (of the many things she’s said) “most couple’s therapy is a waste of time”. I’d say “good therapy is priceless and often a longed for balm for the soul”.
I spend much of my time looking for ways to enhance my skills so I don’t waste people’s time (and money), and fortunately I’m getting better at that. I’m grateful to the Imago model for providing such a great platform to build my own skills, and support others on the profound journey of healing, growth and development.
It is why we are here!
Will Vorobioff
